Redefining Beauty

Each morning I wake up and go through the same routine. Almost every single morning I stand in front of my large bathroom mirror critiquing and evaluating the way I look. I need to loose a few inches here, tone up some more there. Maybe another 20 lbs would do it. Yes, another 20 lbs and then we'll see how things shape up.

I have struggled with my body my whole life. I remember being in kindergarten looking at a picture of myself sitting on my knees playing and thinking to myself, "My thighs look fat." My little brother and his friends would constantly torture me with comments about my weight. I wasn't even really overweight, but it always hurt and I began to believe what they said was true. The last year of middle school and my freshman year of high school I had this jacket I wore every single day. It didn't matter how hot it was outside, that jacket did not come off of my body. My mom and other people would make comments about it, but I didn't care because it was my shelter. I could hide in that jacket. In college, I struggled intensely with insecurities about the way I looked and wrestled for about a year with purging. I finally felt the Lord saying, "Be done," as He started to heal the sickness of my own thoughts towards myself. Thanks to the healing power of Christ, I am no longer consumed or constantly uncomfortable in my own skin. I still struggle, but no way near the way I did when I was younger.

Anyway, after another morning of critiquing in front of my bathroom mirror, a thought occurred to me, "You need to redefine beauty. Not as the world defines beauty, but as I, the Creator, defines beauty." I processed the thought for a minute and realized how grossly off I am, even now. The world defines beauty as large breasts, perfectly proportioned faces, square jaws, long skinny legs, flat tummies, clear beautiful skin... none of which I possess. I think we need to take care of our bodies, eat properly, and exert ourselves in some way physically because simply having the ability to do so is a blessing. I have been transforming a lifetime of bad habits over the past seven months, but I still look at myself and say, "You have a long way to go..." Why?? I know I am not the only girl who has agonized and even cried over this issue, but why do we torture ourselves with so much self criticism?? We have wrongly defined "beauty." We have not accepted ourselves as our Creator accepts us, as He has fashioned us to be. Sometimes I just have to repent for the way I have criticized His work. The pressure and message of the world exists everywhere, but I believe that in order to break the bondage so many women have been shackled by for so long is to get on our knees and ask the Lord to give us His eye to see ourselves through. We have to capture self criticizing thoughts just like we would any other inappropriate thought.

"Be beautiful inside, in your hearts, with the lasting charm of a gentle and quiet spirit that is so precious to God." 1 Peter 3:4

"Charm is deceptive, and beauty is fleeting; but a woman who fears the LORD is to be praised." Proverbs 31:30

Every girl wants to be beautiful, to be desired/desirable. Honestly, I think we all just want to be found attractive to someone. I do. We have to ask ourselves our reasons for wanting to be beautiful. Maybe it's for love, attention, affection, power, or what have you, but we must fight for true Godly beauty and flee from the perverted, twisted form satan has pitted against us. This past Sunday my pastor made the comment that Satan cannot create anything. He can only distort and twist what God has created. Lets go back to the places in our broken pasts that may have left scars or caused us to believe things about ourselves that are not true and invite the Lord in to speak truth and bring light. May we find balance in cultivating our inner beauty while also caring for our physical bodies, the Lords temple. We have to know that we are beautiful beyond comparison to our Savior and that is enough!